Daybook - No. 7

Outside my window...
I'm listening to the sounds of cars on the highway

I am thankful...
For the opportunity over the past few weeks to house-sit for a friend of mine in town - it was nice to feel a bit of independence and experience a little of what it's like to live on your own. 

I am thinking...
About how much life has changed over the past year.

Learning all the time...
This week I have been busking a couple of times, it's lots of fun to talk to people walking by and hear about their experiences.

From the kitchen...
Dinner!

I am creating...
My sketches and compositions have come to a standstill - I have an idea for a couple of pieces of music, though!

I am working on...
Getting my sleep schedule back on track.

I am going...
I'm not going to any specific location, just wherever my life takes me.

I am hoping...
That my university applications process properly.

I am praying...
For my friends and family who are going through tough times.

I am pondering....
Not thinking too deeply at the moment.

I am reading...
I haven't been reading either - I need to get back into that - does anybody have any book suggestions?

I am listening to......
Just the sound of my fan and the highway.

I am hearing...
^ Ditto!

I am struggling...
With getting enough sleep.

Around the house...
My family are relaxing and enjoying the start of the long weekend.

One of my favourite things...
The people who I care about.

A few plans for this week...
This next week I plan to practice clarinet a lot. I have orchestral rehearsal this weekend for the upcoming Jacaranda Prom's concert. It will be heaps of fun! I also go back to my music lesson next week to start the final term of the year.

A little peek at my day...
I caught the bus into town and busked. After, Mum, my sister, and I went for food and drinks in the local shopping centre. When we arrived home, I've started cleaning up the caravan (my new living space - I'm sorting everything out as to where it will go!), and decided I should update my blog. Ta-da!

Sorry I've been absent - blogging hasn't been on my mind at all for a long time.

Certificate of Performance and Other Adventures

Hello lovely blog readers,

I apologize for not updating in so long! One of the reasons blogging has failed to come to my mind is because I have been studying and preparing for my Certificate of Performance on clarinet.

Backtracking to end of last year. I didn't, unfortunately, get into university. One of the reasons was that TAFE did a massive system upgrade, which also resulted in a massive system crash. Because I don't have a High School Certificate, I needed my Diploma I received at TAFE last year to get in to university, as an alternative proof of study. Unfortunately, the system crash meant that my results weren't processed properly. I received my certificate finally at the end of July, and my transcript just last week. Now I am in the process of applying, once again, for universities.

Due to the confusion of whether I was moving or not, I stopped taking lessons at the local conservatorium until a few weeks into the first term. I began lessons again at the end of February. At this point I decided I would take the plunge and attempt to prepare for my Certificate of Performance. My exam was held at the end of July.

I received a B!

I was over the moon with happiness, a B was a higher grade than I expected. I thought that I had taken on more than I could handle with this exam, but I managed to step up to the plate and perform as well as I could.

I also have started another course at TAFE - Certificate IV in Business. It's certainly out of my comfort zone, but I think I will learn many important skills from it. I am certainly looking forward to seeing what this course can offer me!

The Grafton Show

At the beginning of this month, my family and I went to the local show. My Mum had entered quite a few paintings, drawings, scrapbooking pages, and cards. My two younger sisters also entered a few pieces of art. I decided to only enter in two drawings this year.

My first picture here was entered in the 'Novice' section - which is a section for people who have either never entered in the show before, or had never won a prize. Alas, it didn't win, but it was fun to draw, anyway!

This second drawing (again, of a baby) was entered in the portrait section. You can probably imagine my excitement when I saw that it had won something: Second Prize!

My family even had a little write-up about our entries for the local paper. Feel free to read it here:

http://www.dailyexaminer.com.au/news/maher-family-collects-seven-ribbons-at-grafton-agr/2627001/

Unfortunately, on the day of the show, it was raining! We went in the morning, but while we were there it really began to bucket down. After only a short amount of time, we decided to head home (after grabbing a bite to eat, of course). We didn't end up going back, so we didn't try any of the rides that were there. I wouldn't have, anyway, in the rain, but it really was a shame. I felt sorry for the people who had taken all that time and effort to transport food stalls and rides, only to have the weather mess it up.

Even with the rain, however, we had a thoroughly good time browsing through the art, seeing what other peoples' art styles were. We were truly impressed by some of the photography that was entered - there is definitely a lot of artistic talent around Grafton.

Merry Monday!

Here's a picture to brighten up your Monday!

Have a fantastic week!

Confidence

For a few days over the past week, I have felt like making myself look 'pretty'. This involves putting on a bit of make-up, nice clothes, and putting my hair up. Now, when I say I want to make myself look 'pretty', it's not because I think I look ugly. I just wanted to make myself look and feel nice.

This has gotten me thinking. I do not remember one point in the past few years where I have looked into the mirror and have thought of myself as 'ugly' or 'unattractive'. Not once. I look in the mirror and think that there are other girls prettier than me. Let's face it, we all think that way. And yes, I have my 'imperfections' - we all do. However, I don't think of myself as ugly.

Then I thought: 'Why? So many other people consider themselves unattractive. Why do I have such confidence that I am beautiful?'

Then it hit me.

A few years ago, I, like a lot of other people, would wait for someone to tell me I was beautiful, pretty, amazing, wanted, and fantastic. I had the frame of mind that these things were only true if someone else told me that they were. Then, one day, I got tired of waiting. So, I started telling myself these things. I repeated them over and over until I believed it myself. Now, although I still am shy, insecure, and a generally private person - I do not have an issue with how I look. Yes, I am quite underweight, but that isn't a problem. It's just me.

This is a lot of people's problem: they wait for other people to tell them that they are wanted, beautiful, and valued. The thing is, though, with other people, they are only temporary. Even if you find someone who thinks all of these things of you, chances are they won't say it every day. You won't see them every second of every day. The only person who can tell you these things exactly when you need or want to hear them is yourself. You are the only person who can tell yourself every second until you die. So, why not start now? Keep telling yourself these things, and if other people want to try and make you feel ugly, unworthy, or useless, then that's their fault. It's their loss for not wanting to be friends with such an awesome person as you.

Of course, we should all try to make everyone around us feel beautiful and wanted, but in order to truly feel this ourselves, we need to convince ourselves we are, instead of waiting for someone else to convince us.

Doing this makes us feel a lot more confident. It's how we become confident, I think.

We shouldn't be vain, though. We shouldn't brag about how much more beautiful we are than other people, just because we feel like we are. That is selfish, and a horrible thing to do. We can feel beautiful and valued without being vain: that was always my goal when I began this journey of telling myself these things, and I have realised that I have
achieved it.

The idea of this post came after I began to write up a caption
for this photo on my Instagram.

Goals for 2015

Okay, I know it's nearly the end of January, but better late than never, right?

At the end of last year I had no goals for the new year. No resolutions. I sat back, and thought to myself how 'I couldn't be bothered' with resolutions this year. I mean, they never work out, anyway.

Over the past month, however, I have changed my mind. I will, indeed, try to work on a few things.

First things first, I want to get back into drawing. I have done next to no drawing the past 6 months, and I would rather like to just sit down, pick up a pencil, and draw. I want to improve on my portrait drawings, and also delve into drawing animals, and also with different mediums. I want to start using coloured pencils, and even paints, maybe.
I attended an art workshop about two weeks ago, and painted two pictures: one with watercolour paints, and one with acrylic paints. I was quite pleased with the results!

Watercolour painting

Acrylic painting

Another goal of 2015 is to read more. I didn't read very many books last year, and I would like to change that. Any suggestions of good books for me to read? I am in the process of reading the Divergent series.

I want to cook more. It's been on the back of my mind to bake, and maybe I will, once the weather cools down a little.

2014 was the year of me opening up. I was shut inside of myself for as long as I can remember, and was reluctant to let anyone in. Last year, I opened up, made, and reinforced, some pretty fantastic friendships. This year will be more for figuring out hobbies that I enjoy to do. My biggest goal is to try new things, and figure out what I like. Do I like to draw? Paint? Make things? Scrapbook? Make cards? What TV shows do I like? What movies? Books? What kind of books? Do I like writing? If so, what would I write? All these questions are going through my head, and I hope to be able to find out the answers to them.

Another resolution in my mind is to blog more. But, I have that resolution every year. Let's hope that this year I can actually fulfil it.

Happy New Year!