Confidence

For a few days over the past week, I have felt like making myself look 'pretty'. This involves putting on a bit of make-up, nice clothes, and putting my hair up. Now, when I say I want to make myself look 'pretty', it's not because I think I look ugly. I just wanted to make myself look and feel nice.

This has gotten me thinking. I do not remember one point in the past few years where I have looked into the mirror and have thought of myself as 'ugly' or 'unattractive'. Not once. I look in the mirror and think that there are other girls prettier than me. Let's face it, we all think that way. And yes, I have my 'imperfections' - we all do. However, I don't think of myself as ugly.

Then I thought: 'Why? So many other people consider themselves unattractive. Why do I have such confidence that I am beautiful?'

Then it hit me.

A few years ago, I, like a lot of other people, would wait for someone to tell me I was beautiful, pretty, amazing, wanted, and fantastic. I had the frame of mind that these things were only true if someone else told me that they were. Then, one day, I got tired of waiting. So, I started telling myself these things. I repeated them over and over until I believed it myself. Now, although I still am shy, insecure, and a generally private person - I do not have an issue with how I look. Yes, I am quite underweight, but that isn't a problem. It's just me.

This is a lot of people's problem: they wait for other people to tell them that they are wanted, beautiful, and valued. The thing is, though, with other people, they are only temporary. Even if you find someone who thinks all of these things of you, chances are they won't say it every day. You won't see them every second of every day. The only person who can tell you these things exactly when you need or want to hear them is yourself. You are the only person who can tell yourself every second until you die. So, why not start now? Keep telling yourself these things, and if other people want to try and make you feel ugly, unworthy, or useless, then that's their fault. It's their loss for not wanting to be friends with such an awesome person as you.

Of course, we should all try to make everyone around us feel beautiful and wanted, but in order to truly feel this ourselves, we need to convince ourselves we are, instead of waiting for someone else to convince us.

Doing this makes us feel a lot more confident. It's how we become confident, I think.

We shouldn't be vain, though. We shouldn't brag about how much more beautiful we are than other people, just because we feel like we are. That is selfish, and a horrible thing to do. We can feel beautiful and valued without being vain: that was always my goal when I began this journey of telling myself these things, and I have realised that I have
achieved it.

The idea of this post came after I began to write up a caption
for this photo on my Instagram.